So Little Hospitality for Children…

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In a recent post at OrdinaryAttempts, Susie Smith wrote…

I  suppose this is more of a “how NOT to reach someone” story. I was at work last night and someone was talking about how it is obvious that in some families, the children are in charge…

She was talking about a young family at her church who had a young daughter who sat in the pew chewing on her finger and how disrespectful that was.

She went on about how there is church behavior and children should be expected to sit quietly and attentively.

I was listening and thinking #1: I am relieved that I do not attend her church, and #2: we had such a hard time getting our now 7-year-old to behave during worship!

He can be quite a handful and NOW he sits quietly and reads a book or plays with a quiet toy. But at first he was loud and we had to take him out repeatedly. I would leave church almost in tears nearly every Sunday.

I bet there were people who had all sorts of thoughts about me and my parenting then. And plenty of people who wouldn’t approve of the book or the toys now.

We need to give each other the benefit of the doubt a little more.

I was doing the best that I could.

And if we see a parent struggling with a child’s behavior, then ask how to HELP! 

I didn’t have the nerve to say any of this to the woman at work…

I really feel for Susie here.  I’ve heard a lot of similar comments, many directed at me when I was younger.  I loved to draw during church, and there was no children’s service or Sunday School at the little country church we attended for some time.

As a lifelong nail biter, I’m also offended that church can’t be a safe place for us (and especially our children!) to have their little habits tolerated.

I never commented on the ghastly perfume, saved over from pre-World War I, that one lady used to wear…

All I can think of is the word “Hospitality,” and how little place it has in our society today, much less our churches.

NCxian: Are we too “ATTRACTIONALLY Focused?”

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NCxian brought up an important observation about ChurchRater and our focus that I’d like to address here…

The format of ChurchRater is somewhat based on the “attractional” model of outreach.

That model assumes that the major “entry point” to a church community is a visit to a worship service, including lots of folks who just make a “cold call”. Thus, our worship services need to be friendly to that first time visiting stranger.

I think the current conversation (and perhaps research) suggests that attracting people to a church service was a good plan when most of the US population was “churchy”–likely to wind up in a church some day, because we were all pretty much “ethnic Christians”. And I am not suggesting that our Sunday morning services should not be open, friendly, understandable, and so forth.

What I am saying is, a lot of what we focus on here is going to be relevant as we try to reach the remaining folks who are “churchy”, but not so relevant to reaching “unreached people groups” in our community.

It would be nice if there was someway to church-rate based on a more wholistic view (although I can’t think of anything to offer).

Good stuff NCxian - I’ve got a lot of thoughts swirling in my mind now…

Review: Grace Seattle

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Benjamin Ady III recently sent this thoughtful survey in…

Church Name - Grace Seattle
Church Website - www.GraceSeattle.org
Date Attended - October 15, 2006
Overall Rating - 5. Plain. Inoffensive.

Was the building easy to find? If you drove, was it hard to find parking? How about the exterior or interior signage? What would you do differently?
To be perfectly up front, I need to let you know that I’m currently in the process of officially unbecoming a member of this church - I used to attend, but haven’t been to a Sunday service in some 6 months, and haven’t attended regularly for longer than that. So it was totally easy for me to find. My dad actually came to the end of one of the services here to pick up my kids once, and he complained that there were no handicapped parking spots. My dad has limited mobility so this was annoying for him.

Did anyone approach you and speak to you before the service got underway? If so, how did you feel about that? Can you share their name(s)? Did you know them before your visit?
I spoke briefly to the person organizing the service because I was slated to read a scripture passage. Members get slated for a volunteer duty like this reading every couple months. I’ve actually gotten someone else to cover for me the last 3 times because I didn’t wanna go to the gathering. This time, however, when I got the email saying I was scheduled to do this reading, I thought I’d go because it would be interesting to do this survey. Another guy I know came up and shook my hand and we chatted for a moment. I felt fairly ok–like people were friendly but not pushy.

As you observe the people “doing their church thing,” what goes through your mind? Are you able to understand why they do what they do? Do they seem sincere?
This question touches on part of what has happened to me. I used to be a bit like these people. That is, I used to sit through Sunday morning church services and experience some kind of meaning. And this is no longer the case. It seems very strange to me. I spoke to a lady this morning, and I said “Why are you here?”

And she said: “That’s a Loaded question.”

“Oh, sorry-I didn’t mean to be offensive.”

“No, not at all. A while back I came home to find one of the boarders who stays in my boarding house, a 25 year old young man, dead on the floor. They did an autopsy and multiple tests and could find no reason for him to have died. This made me think that there must be something more. A friend of mine came to this church, and I started coming with her, and it worked for me.”

I know that feeling. There are things that work for me. Sunday morning church is no longer one of them. These people are sincere at some level, but I no longer get it.

(more…)

Pastor Jeremy from Eastern OR…

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A young man and pastor (who I respect and enjoy) from a church I reviewed awhile ago - La Grande’s Foursquare Faith Center - recently posted this feedback…

Jeremy said:

Hey Peter,
this is Jeremy, the youth pastor at La Grande Faith Center. I understand that my personal feelings are fully wrapped into this “rating” and I can give way to the notion that had I read another review about another church I may not have thought twice (although I am not convinced of that).

Now setting aside how I feel, I have a couple of questions about the motive and intention of “rating” churches. What exactly is the point? A church being evaluated by Biblical standards and precepts is an absolute must, but I am honestly intrigued about this “rating system”. What is the constructive purpose of “rating” individual churches by “man’s standard” and posting it on a website? Not saying that some of the questions being asked are not relevant, however, what is the primary heart behind this faculty? It is unarguable to say, “There is no such thing as a perfect church,” and I quote this not as an excuse for my own home church, but as a point of communication. The stylistic differences from church to church spreads a broad spectrum, but focusing on the different styles of a church is kind of like “majoring in the minors”, would you agree?

It is a given that the theological foundation and leadership will set the trend and focus of any church and I wouldn’t say theology and leadership is a minor issue, but what should be at the forefront? Jesus Christ! I guess I just don’t see Jesus being glorified in this church rating thing. And I am not so naive to think I am altruistic in my every motive for life, but I am willing to say, “Lord, search me and know me.” I guess all I am asking is that you would do the same in regards to the way you are “rating churches.”

E3 Ministries: Long Beach, CA

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Tina Stephenitch wrote:

Hello what a great resources this is. We are a new ministry trying to reach an urban environment and would love to dialogue and get feedback on our website and church if possible.

Thank you very much,
Tina

Visit the E3 website at www.e3longbeach.org!