Beth and Traci: Bizarro in Portland
“I think attending church regularly is important because it gives you a chance to stop, reflect on your life and regroup from the week.”
Pop Quiz!
Who made the above statement during our time at Convergence in Portland?
A - One of the conventional church female pastors trying to persuade a pierced, artfully tattooed Emergie in one of the bars at Edgefield
B - A pierced, artfully tattooed Emergie trying to persuade a pierced, artfully tattooed drunk in one of the bars at Edgefield
C - An unpierced, flawless skinned atheist interloper trying to persuade a lapsed fundamentalist in one of the bars at Edgefield
If you guessed A or B, YOU’RE WRONG!
I heard with my own ears, in the presence of three witnesses, Traci arguing the importance of going to church with a woman who had soured on traditional church over the years. The irony was not lost on us, and our party enjoyed a hearty group guffaw over drinks in the rustic Distillery smoke shack bar at Edgefield.
I might have forgotten this choice Convergence weekend moment if Pam Hogeweide hadn’t shoved her cocktail napkin and pen in my face, insisting I take notes so I wouldn’t forget. And if I had not cleaned the “trash” out of my rain jacket pocket yesterday only to dig out the napkin scribbled with notes, that memory may have been lost to me forever. (Thanks, Pam. We owe this post to you!)
We’ve been slow to report on our weekend, I think, because finding ourselves six states away for a Christian women’s conference was fundamentally surreal to us. One month we’re embarking on this out-of-body writing experience; the next we’re transported from our homes in the same Indianapolis neighborhood to sharing a bed in a lodge at a historic poor farm-turned winery/golf course/spa/adult playground in Oregon. It almost feels to me like it never happened, since the weekend was so very out of the ordinary.
Also, our first evening began after a long day of cross-country flights with one connection in Denver, so we started out a little loopy. But we pulled it together for dinner and joined a roomful of mostly brunette, non-Midwestern-looking new emerging friends from across the Pacific Northwest and Canada. Deborah Lloyd, the lovely tattooed and formerly dread-headed pastor from The Bridge (see “Jim and Casper Go to Church”) warmly greeted Traci and me, exclaiming, “Too bad we don’t have a bottle of whiskey. We could go up to our room…†(Later we discovered Edgefield makes and sells its own whiskey, liqueur, beer and wine on-site. And we only saw Deborah from across the room the rest of the weekend.)
As dinner time wound down, Traci and I recruited Portland Pam, Indiana Sarah Notton and her friend Laura to trek with us up to the Distillery for drinks and conversation. Socially, for me, those two hours stand out as the highlight of the weekend. It was the one time during Convergence that we weren’t rushed, between sessions or stuffing our faces with the delectable catered meals.
The rest of the weekend is a blur.
MY HIGHLIGHTS
1) The lush beauty of the Northwest - magnolias, bamboo trees, and volcano-shaped mountains!
2) Hiking around the falls in the Columbia River Gorge with three new friends – Detroit Donna, Olympia Dina, Gypsy Nanc and The Bridge member Nancy Henderson (our driver!)
3) Sharing a breakfast and lunch table with very cool musicians from The Bridge and Convergence administrator Kelly Bean
4) Massages and a pedicure!
5) Small group time out in the “fresh†(brisk!) air and sunshine
I may have appreciated the guided small group sharing time a bit more than my cohort did, but I totally see her point of view too. It felt foreign to me because I hadn’t been in a similar situation since I was in seminary 15 years ago, so I can imagine how it might have felt for someone who had NEVER experienced anything like it. The format did seem a bit forced and over-structured, though I do understand the value of setting some parameters. Hearing mature women who’ve devoted their lives to serving God in a variety of contexts share about their lives began to melt a frozen place deep inside me. It touched me deeply, in fact. The exercise reminded me of how I used to view myself – my unscathed identity before I went through my divorce. It awakened in me some possibilities for my life that my sense of failure had effectively swept under the rug. Kelly Bean spoke to me healing words of encouragement and truth, reminding me that I can live in freedom, without shame.
I could go on. And on. I think Traci and I could write about Convergence for two or three weeks straight, actually. Neither of us has even touched Sunday morning at The Bridge! (I smile when I glimpse a memory of my Traci sitting there in that little downtown Portland sanctuary, shaking the tambourine she pulled from the percussion box that was passed around, keeping beat to the raucous, free-flowing music with free spirits dancing all around us.)
Of course that may have never happened. It may have just been Bizarro Beth and Traci.
Comment by: Tiffany Flaming
1 03/18/08 10:29 PM | Comment Link |It’s true - Traci’s skin is flawless.
Comment by: pamhogeweide
2 03/19/08 12:12 AM | Comment Link |so glad you found the napkin! yes, that fri night at the distillery was a highlight for me, too, especially when our visiting atheist got her preach on about the importance of church. She and Helen could totally headline a Christian women’s conference on the value of Christian community!
I’m so glad you guys came. Nancy at The Bridge just asked me about you guys. I’ll send her the link.
I was at La Bonita on Sunday with Annie and Joel (our Bridge dancer extraordinaire!) We sat at the same table.
It’s good to read your thoughts here. Deborah asked about you guys as well. I’m glad the time at Edgefield was positive for you. It was a total hoot for me, mostly a great time of schmoozing with the likes of you Indianapolis people and others. Oh, and the drinking was fun. And I loved the art. Oh my, the art. Loved it!
Hanging out and getting to know women of all kinds of backgrounds and ages and perspectives was very energizing for me.
Good times. It really was.
Comment by: Helen
3 03/19/08 5:00 AM | Comment Link |Beth, thanks for sharing more about the Convergence weekend.
I’m glad you found your napkin with notes on :) and had some enjoyable and healing experiences there.
Pam I think community is very important, so maybe you’re right :).
Comment by: Beth Bates
4 03/19/08 5:50 AM | Comment Link |Tiffany - You make me laugh. You were a major highlight! Why didn’t you join us Friday night? Did you go to bed early in your closet at the noisiest end of the lodge?
Comment by: Traci
5 03/19/08 9:28 AM | Comment Link |Uh. Hang on here. I would never have said anything that started with “attending church regularly is important.”
Obviously I don’t think attending church is important in the least.
I did certainly argue for one potential value of church, however. I said that I can see why it would serve a function in people’s lives and that my dad said it gave him a chance to think about his past week and how he could make the next one better.
Comment by: Sarah
6 03/19/08 10:40 AM | Comment Link |I don’t know, Traci. You almost had me convinced to go back to church. :-)
Comment by: Traci
7 03/19/08 10:52 AM | Comment Link |SARAH: Does that make me your Kay Arthur?
Hot.
Comment by: Beth Bates
8 03/19/08 11:55 AM | Comment Link |My napkin says:
Perhaps I took poetic license. (Who me?) Oh. And I may have been on my second McGrape sour martini.
Comment by: Claudia
9 03/19/08 12:36 PM | Comment Link |OK, this makes MUCH more sense. I’d been wondering how much Traci’d had to drink at that point…
Comment by: Beth Bates
10 03/19/08 12:40 PM | Comment Link |I’d like to acknowledge that I certainly had no idea I was putting words in Traci’s mouth. It’s what I remembered being said, which is what made it all so comical. Could it have been the father quote I heard? I don’t know.
I sincerely apologize if I misrepresented what Traci was saying. It was not intentional. It’s what I thought I heard. I’m sorry, Traci.
Comment by: Sarah
11 03/19/08 2:15 PM | Comment Link |The part I remember most (despite the alcohol) was that brilliant moment when Traci realized she’d become an evangelist and rolled off her chair, laughing something along the lines of “What am I saying? I’m a f***ing ATHIEST!!”
Comment by: pamhogeweide
12 03/20/08 2:41 PM | Comment Link |i’m with sarah. and i don’t think you’re too far off course, beth. i was there! yep, tracy the atheist was helping somebody see the value of church. yep. and it was said with kindness and respect, not a trace of snarkiness or cynicism. not that tracy is ever snarky or cynical.
it’s ok tracy. it doesn’t make you any less an atheist. you are among friends. :-) you can get your preach on any time you feel the spirit move you.
Comment by: Helen
13 03/20/08 5:23 PM | Comment Link |Traci, I understand why you wanted to clarify what you said.
It’s interesting to me that it’s a big deal an atheist would argue that church could serve a [valuable] function for some people.
Turning things around, perhaps the equivalent would be a Christian saying to someone “if church doesn’t work for you, stop going - it doesn’t work for everyone!”
I guess that would seem weird even though it doesn’t really seem weird to me that Traci would see value in church for some people.
I wonder why one seems more weird than the other to me?
Comment by: Traci
14 03/25/08 7:07 AM | Comment Link |Are these two statements the same?
“Pam said she is an atheist.”
“Pam said she can see why somebody would be an atheist.”
They are not.
One might be comfortable for you, Pam, and I’m guessing the other would not.
That’s why I’m clarifying. Not because I’m worried about being any more or less an atheist. Although I don’t think that my acknowledging why people would find value in church chips away at my atheist cred. I haven’t gotten any memos that say so, anyway. The last one was about our annual religious paraphernalia yard sale. Funds the kitty boil.
Comment by: Helen
15 03/28/08 3:54 AM | Comment Link |Traci, as long as you’re following the Atheist Rules of Conduct I think your cred will be maintained. Is your copy of The God Delusion clearly visible in your house and do you make complimentary remarks about Dawkins regularly?