Beth and Traci's First Night of the Soul
“I can’t decide whether to have Starbucks or Stella Artois,” Traci told me when I called to see how she was feeling an hour before our departure for the soul care workshop, her first women’s ministry event. En route in my minivan, she reported she had gone with coffee and a beer. “Gotta have balance,” I said.
We were both nervous but for different reasons. For Traci, it was the unknown and a fear of judgment. For me, it was the experiential knowledge of just how badly we Christians can behave in our own house. The feeling of taking a non-believing friend into the inner sanctum of women’s leadership feels akin to bringing your college friend with the Ward and June Cleaver upbringing home for holiday dinner. You know. You love your family. Your family is mostly wonderful, fun-loving and kind, but gee you hope this isn’t the Christmas your father has a temper tantrum and throws the turkey in the pool. Again.
I had complete confidence in the unconditional openness of the women of Grace Community Church. In fact, the women of Grace were the reason my husband and I had begun to attend there regularly four years ago. After I was sidelined by a heart attack at age 38, GCC women we’d never met fed my family for weeks and even helped us pack to move into a house we had just bought.
But even a five-star restaurant can have an off night and serve a prime rib with too much gristle, and a hair can find its way into the perfect endive salad. I worried the only available seats would be next to a dogmatic, gristly nut-job, one of “those Christians” that give “us” a bad name. But my hopes were high. I knew I had chosen as safe a place as possible for Traci’s first exposure.
And we weren’t disappointed. Julie, a women’s ministry staffer and one of the first women we saw welcomed Traci with warm, open arms and directed us to the meeting room. (I had to giggle to myself when I thought back to a post preparing Traci for church lady hugs.) On our way down the hall I was relieved to run into Jennifer, a very cool woman, who works with the senior high kids and is married to the teaching pastor. I introduced her to Traci sans labels for either one and found even more relief when we walked into the room of a hundred women and followed her to a table that still had room. Whew. I could be assured of at least one “normal” person who would welcome Traci.
At the table of coffee, pops, and snacks, we grabbed bottles of water as the room buzzed. The emcee quieted us down with a welcome and instructed us to introduce ourselves by name and “area of service.” As Traci previously mentioned in Beth and Traci and the Looks on Their Faces, our introductions proceeded without incident. The speaker was introduced, and she prepared us with a prayerful reading of Psalm 23. The kind of reading with pauses and deep, hot silences that usually calm and draw me into a space of spiritual openness and worship.
This time, though, I felt like a flea in a roomful of Orkin men and braced myself for the moment that would make my friend go AWOL. But that moment didn’t come. As Ms. Caliguire spoke soothing and practical words of soul/emotional health, I jotted words and phrases in the margin of the typed-up notes for later review. I wanted Traci’s reaction to language that feels like home to me but that I was aware might sound as foreign as Vulcan to her.
I want to know, Traci, what do you think and/or how do you feel when you hear. . .
“The God who made the moon and the stars cares about us . . . the Living God cares for our souls.”
“Fruit of the Spirit”
“Soul”
“Prevenient grace”
“A healthy soul can change the world.”
Do you wish we had stayed for Part 2, “Soul Sisters -Companions for the Spiritual Journey?”
And finally, how did you feel about the melodious muzak piped in during our moment of silent reflection?
Comment by: Eliza
1 01/15/08 12:22 AM | Comment Link |We want to know, too! Traci, tell us what you thought, before we die of suspense!!
Beth - a heart attack at age 38?! How awful, & scary, for you & your family! I hope your health has been good since then.
Comment by: Helen
2 01/15/08 6:39 AM | Comment Link |Wonderful description, Beth!
I can see why you’d want Traci to come to a meeting with these women. These are the stories I love to hear, about Christians being willing to put time and energy into meeting the practical needs of others (either inside or outside their Christian community).
I hope you haven’t had any continuing health problems associated with your heart attack.
Comment by: Missy Welsch
3 01/15/08 7:43 AM | Comment Link |I am humbled to have such a sensitive, insightful, wonderful, crazy sister. (She has all of the talent and brains in the family) Both Beth and I have had periods of wandering, of intentionally diassociating ourselves from “the church” and from God. I am still licking my wounds and learning to trust again. But Beth’s faith, all her own, tested and proven, is so precious and real. She is the same dear friend she has always been but she has found her voice, discovered her joy and has learned how to soar…I attribute much of this, of course, to God Himself, but to the community of faith with whom she has found safety. It is that lovely and tragic fact, that there is so much power in the community to either heal or wound. It’s not unlike a marriage…there are good ones and bad ones. What satisfies one leaves another with unmet longings.
About the turkey in the pool, well, it is one of our favorite Dad stories. You should have heard it sizzle as it met with the frosty surface of the pool. If you’ve ever wondered, turkeys don’t float, at least fully cooked turkeys.
Beth, you have the most beautiful heart and I love you.
Comment by: Tom Broad
4 01/15/08 8:21 AM | Comment Link |This is great stuff! Can’t wait to grab a few minutes to catch up on all of this …
Beth is an amazing writer. Problem (for me) is, she’s fast, too!
Keep it up Beth and Traci! It is so awesome to see this type of writing and interaction.
And, a big thanks to Jim and Casper for getting the ball rolling!
Comment by: Amy
5 01/15/08 12:00 PM | Comment Link |I love this blog! I can’t wait to read it all in book form.
Comment by: Jim Henderson
6 01/15/08 2:41 PM | Comment Link |I am enjoying your journey for all sorts of reasons. It’s bringing back lots of memories for my trip with Casper.
If we do an OTM event in Indy this year I will want to interview you guys about this
Both great writers and edutaining
Comment by: pamhogeweide
7 01/16/08 4:42 PM | Comment Link |great writing, great story telling. you got me hooked. yes, tracey, tell us how it was for you!
Comment by: Beth Bates
8 01/16/08 8:28 PM | Comment Link |Jim - I’m glad you’re experiencing the spell of nostalgia.
Hey - we’re willing to meet you at OTM events in more desirable locales as well. Like Denver. Or the Caymans.
Thanks. “Edutaining” is high praise from the duke of edutaining.
And Pam, thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I admire your writing too. I’m with you - I’m chomping at the bit for Traci’s answers!
Comment by: Craig
9 01/17/08 10:23 AM | Comment Link |I love the concept, but you guys are smearing all kinds of lines into gray matter. Don’t you think it was easier when religion was black and white? Back when I became born again faith was as simple as math; born spiritually and physically, I was like twice the person as an unbeliever. Armed with my new bionic powers, I could then join the ranks of the discerning and the propheteering. More power to both of you. I’m just not so sure we should be giving out God’s hard-earned grace to just anyone. We might run out.
Comment by: Lisa
10 01/18/08 7:02 PM | Comment Link |Craig, could you elaborate? I don’t get what you wrote, about grace running out. I don’t know what perspective you’re coming from, if you’re being facetious.
Comment by: Beth Bates
11 01/18/08 7:28 PM | Comment Link |His tongue is pressed pretty far into his cheek. I think.
Comment by: Lisa
12 01/18/08 8:56 PM | Comment Link |Traci, can you find merit in these women’s groups even without a belief in God? Perhaps you’ll be better equipped to answer after a few more visits, but would appreciate your thoughts so far.
Comment by: Traci
13 01/20/08 3:13 PM | Comment Link |LISA: As it turns out (and to my surprise), yes. I’ll be posting about that very thing later this week.
Comment by: pam sardar
14 01/21/08 6:35 PM | Comment Link |Beth and Traci,
I really am looking forward to meeting you both Friday night. My husband and I have been OTM fans for a few years now and heart and vision connected with Jim and the gang. Always enjoy these enlightening conversations.
See you at Grace!
Pam Sardar
Comment by: Laurie
15 01/24/08 9:05 PM | Comment Link |Hey Beth and Traci
It looks like you went to the meeting that did not have two children present - and definitely accounted for!!!
What impressed me -even after debriefing with the other women who were there - was the great compassion these women felt for the Mom who had disruptive kids.
So funny that I did not tune in as much to the speaker -as to the audience.
Takes me to some of the comments made about the Bible… I guess… the older I get (and, yes, true confession, I had a conversion experience 32 years ago) the more I see the character of God being more compelling than information. When I look at the crazy stories of the OT, God’s relentless pursuit for relationship seems to be the one unifying factor.
I’ll be there tomorrow - just 20 hours. Praying for both of you!