Wherein I Prepare for Churchification
I couldn’t bring myself to write “bible study” in my calendar after Beth gave me the date and time for our first meeting. (Tonight. 6 p.m.) What if somebody saw? What if they thought I was into that? Instead I wrote “Grace CC” — an abbreviation for the destination church. It’s innocuous enough to leave my idiom intact, and my id.
Beth is worried I’ll get skeert, and true enough, parts of the business ahead freak me out:
Traci: The mingling with churchies while they’re all churched up intimidates me.
Beth: Stay close to me — I’ll be your ally. I won’t join them when we’re together.
Traci: You say that now, but we’ll get there and you won’t be able to resist the churchalicious pull and next thing you know you’ll be all “Jedediah 6:19″ and “Psalms 22:3″ and I’ll be asking where the vodka is.
Beth: I feel protective of you.
Traci: Thank goodness for that.
Beth: They serve din din to people who show up around 5:30.
Traci: I’d really rather not. Why add the mingling time?
Beth: Uh, cuz the mingling time’s a big part of it.
Traci: Well, then let’s show up at 5 so we can mingle with the organizers. WOMAN, are you crazy?
Beth: You gotta trust me, sista.
This from the woman who woke up with a “Mount Etna stress zit.”
I remember a friend’s telling me that he’d never been in a church. I asked him whether he was curious, and he said, “No. I think I know what goes on there.”
I love and respect him but hate that answer. He doesn’t know, and although I was raised Catholic (mostly — it came with Mom’s second marriage when I was 9), I don’t know, either, when it comes to anything Methodist or Presbyterian. Or Muslim, for that matter, but one project at a time. And I think that we atheists are removed enough from the mainstream without putting up concertina fences. Why not peek into what most of our fellow Americans think? I’m not into football, but I still go to Super Bowl parties. (Beer and corn chips bind disparate worlds.) The analogy doesn’t really hold up, I know: I don’t enjoy football, but I can’t deny its existence. Still, when people start talking about passing yards, I’m as lost as I am when someone tells me that they feel God.
I didn’t expect to feel as uncomfortable as I do about going tonight. I’m giving up my remove and diving into a big pool of foreign — no matter how mundane the waters may be to so many people. I kind of regret that I won’t be able to say anymore that I know nothing about this experience, that I’m losing my cool distance, even though that attitude grosses me out.
But change is so cold and damp.
Comment by: Jim Henderson
1 01/8/08 9:14 AM | Comment Link |Traci - Great insights and funny too
A couple of my favorites Tracisms
Even Christians do that with each other
I hate when that happens
Keep us posted
Comment by: Helen
2 01/8/08 10:10 AM | Comment Link |Thanks for sharing how you’re feeling with us, Traci. Good luck tonight - I think you and Beth will have a fun, interesting time together.
Comment by: Kristin
3 01/8/08 3:05 PM | Comment Link |We’ll expect a full report, Traci (and Beth), one that extrapolates on verbiage as well as body language, et cetera.
And remember: Knowledge is always a good thing, for everyone. (How’s that for a generalization?!) Sure, it means you have more to process, but knowledge of what really goes on in this world (and I mean that for everyone, well, all adults, who have the mature ability to put things into perspective, unlike kids, for example) helps us to truly be honest with ourselves, and pushes us to live consciously, in all things, moment by moment.
Comment by: Randy
4 01/8/08 4:25 PM | Comment Link |Traci,
Love your transparency. I dare you to ask where the vodka is at some point in the evening…it would be a priceless moment for everyone.
Wish I could be there!
Comment by: Beth
5 01/8/08 8:07 PM | Comment Link |And Kristin, I appreciate your passionate posts.
Comment by: Friendly Atheist » Beth and Traci Go To Church
6 01/9/08 6:27 PM | Comment Link |[...] already liking Traci’s ability to create new words: Traci: The mingling with churchies while they’re all churched up intimidates [...]
Comment by: Brett
7 01/9/08 7:40 PM | Comment Link |“You’ll be all ‘Jedidiah 6:19.” That made me laugh. A lot. I don’t see what’s wrong with the whole vodka thing, either. I often remind people that Jesus drank wine. Close enough. Of course, I also remind people that we were all born naked, and it’s usually around that point that people ask me to leave the restaurant. Hope you both enjoy your . . . spiritual exploration. Or whatever the hell you want to call it. Count me in as a reader. Oh, and Traci, one day can I please, please watch you dance without rhythm?
Comment by: HappyNat
8 01/10/08 5:28 AM | Comment Link |Tell that to Eve. :)
This sounds really interesting and I look forward to reading more.
Comment by: Kristin
9 01/11/08 10:35 AM | Comment Link |HappyNat: Eve is a concept, not a real person. ;)
j/k…sort of! :)
Comment by: pamhogeweide
10 01/16/08 4:39 PM | Comment Link |Churchilicious…? Hilarious!
ya know, i’m gonna have to steal that and totally use it in my talking and writing. love it!
as for the vodka, well, meet me at my fave blues bar and we can dish on God and all things churchilicious while slinging back Lemon Drops. Any friend of vodka is a friend of mine. :-)
Comment by: ChurchRater
11 02/3/08 5:54 PM | Comment Link |[...] how’s your churchification going so far? Is it what you [...]